by Steve Stay, from free e-book @ www.BeingTheShift.com
Looking for the Best Gift to Give Someone you Care About?
A 25 year research study reveals the #1 answer.
Researchers and physiologist Dinkmeyer and Losoncy followed the lives of couples and families for 25 years and their conclusion concurred with that of eminent psychiatrist Rudolf Dreikurs.
Encouragement is the key ingredient for success
in all positive professional and personal relationships.
Of the myriad of things that partners and parents did, trying to help their children and each other, Encouraging words created the best outcome in their child’s and their partners life.
Mastering the skill of using encouraging words
is one of the greatest gifts you can offer to the people in your life.
First, it’s critical that you are clear on exactly what encouragement is:
- Encouragement is positive feedback that focuses primarily on effort or improvement rather than outcomes.
- Encouraging happens through valuing and accepting others as they are, having a belief in the innate capacity of people to overcome the challenges of life.
- Encouragement is recognizing, accepting, and conveying faith in another for the mere fact that he or she exists. They do not have to be “the best” to be a full-fledged human being. Your focus and comments are such that you help them see their assets, strengths, resources and potential — in contrast to their deficits, weaknesses and limitations.
- Encouragement requires dropping the urge to analyze what’s really going on or trying to solve the situation for another. It is about sharing your confidence in them and helping them regain their sense of perspective and confidence in their ability to get through and rise above life’s challenges.
You will discover that a word of Encouragement
during a time when someone feels they have failed
is worth more than an hour of praise after a victory
Here are a few examples of Encouraging words.
- I believe in you.
- I know you did your best.
- You can make it.
- While everything didn’t come off as you had hoped, I felt your effort and it’s all going to work out.
- I can see you have made progress.
- Knowing you, I’m sure you will do well.
- You can only learn by trying and I feel like you always give a great effort.
- I can see you have really thought this through.
- That’s a challenge and I’m confident you’ll make it.
Dinkmeyer, D., & Losoncy, L. (1996). The skills of encouragement. Delray Beach, FL: St. Lucie Press.
Dreikurs, R. (1971). Social equality. Chicago: Alfred Adler Institute.